The End of the World

Yesterday, June 13, was "Blog Like It's the End of the World Day." Everyone was supposed to write a blog entry as though the world were under attack by zombies. I would have participated, had I known in advance, but these things have a way of sneaking up on me (see also Talk Like a Pirate Day).

I don't know about you, but I treat every day like we're only one zombie attack away from obliteration because, let's face it, we may well be only one zombie attack away from obliteration. There's just no way to know.

In any case, I'm sorry I missed international zombie uprising blog day because gaming has a long, rich history of zombie inclusion and representation. A colleague and I, shirking work for a few minutes, were discussing the brilliance of a collaborative, War of the Worlds-esque "widespread zombie attacks" scenario in the blogosphere when it came to light that I have never played Resident Evil in any of its various iterations.

My colleague, a non-gamer at that, was visibly shocked and said incredulously: "But even I've played Resident Evil." My gamer cred is suffering with her, I can tell. I must stress that it would be impossible to overemphasize her shock and incredulity.

It is a damn shame, and I'm properly embarassed about it. Resident Evil (Biohazard in Japan) is a gaming industry mainstay and in the top 20 best-selling game franchises of all time. Japan has even issued a commemorative stamp in honor of its ten-year anniversary. The thing is, playing as Jill Valentine all those years ago I walked into the hallway where the zombie dobermans come crashing in through the window and that was it for me. Too scary. I mean zombies are scary enough, but you can get away from them because they're shambling. Not so the MA-39 Cerberus; they're fast, and snarling and slavering and scary. My Jill Valentine took shelter in a nearby closet, and she's been in there ever since.

Resident Evil was really a pioneer of the survival horror genre, which has become an increasingly popular subset of games. Capcom's 2006 blockbuster Dead Rising for the XBox 360 is a testament to this phenomenon. Naturally, I haven't played Dead Rising as I don't own a 360; as Killa has mentioned before, Dead Rising is one of the few titles on the Microsoft platform that really inspires jealousy in us.

Even outside of the survival horror genre, zombies make memorable appearances throughout the industry. Take ReDeads from the Legend of Zelda series, for example. These creepy f***ers have no business being in a Legend of Zelda game. That ear-splitting, paralyzing shriek when Link makes eye contact with them; their slow, shambling progression toward Link as he stands frozen in place, quaking, waiting for the paralysis to wear; you desperately jam every controller button---or swing your wiimote around like a cowboy, if you're playing Twilight Princess---but they just keep coming. It's been noted that the frightening ReDeads are out of place in the Legend of Zelda series, an unexpectedly terrifying apparition in a series that is often suitable for children.

Not all zombies are horrible, though. Perhaps the least loathable game zombie is Sir Auron from Final Fantasy X. On the surface FFX appears to be, much like every other FF game, a convoluted, action-packed adventure full of political overtones and set in a rich, detailed fantasy milieux, all overlying a poignant love story. Another analysis of FFX is that it's a crazy, zombie-infested doomsday tale; a zombie sleeper hit, even. Think about it---who among them is not an unsent (that is, a person who has died but whose spirit has not been sent to the farplane)? Every turn in FFX leads you to the revelation that someone is a zombie. Even the main boss, Yu Yevon, is cruising around the world in a giant zombie fish thing. Likewise, Seymour Guado---and his creepy mother, the aeon Anima (or Fish Mummy, Killa and I like to call her)---, the Maesters of Yevon, Beldemine, Yunalesca, one by one turn out to be unsent. Finally, Yuna's trusty bodyguard, Auron, too, turns out to be undead.

If I had had time to concoct a blog entry for yesterday's event, it would have read something like this:

Work is cancelled because there's a zombie uprising. Going to try to finish Odin Sphere with the unexpected free time. If I'm not too tired later, maybe looting and rioting.

If there was a mass zombie uprising, I'm afraid I'd be woefully unprepared, having never played through the training manual.