Yeah, it sucks

Work, that is, sucks. So do the load times and audio glitches in Prince of Persia Revelations, but that can wait for another post.

On the 29th of November, I was kind enough to come in to fill in for a coworker who was out on vacation. This, of course, is not my normal job, but I was once an office dweller, and I do know my way around the business end of a fax machine. Conveniently, a nice long shift gives me plenty of time to read blogs, do Christmas shopping, pay my bills, and visit any websites not blocked by my organization's filtering software, which unfortunately forbids anything under the category: "Games".

So, today, my boss handed me a twelve page log of every URL I visited on said date which was given to him by the head of our Information Systems department. Luckily, my boss is very much like me, except that the last videogame he played was an NFL Blitz arcade machine left behind by a thoughtless client. Anyways, since he is so much like me, he didn't worry too much about what Information Systems thinks, so far as he can explain any activity to his boss when needed.

As a result, I'm trying to limit my internet activity. I'm hoping if I focus more on Final Form, when the notorious head of Information Systems (let's just call him Victor) checks up on my web traffic, he'll stop by and read that he is an ineffectual jerk off and his body seems to be rejecting his hair plugs.

Anyways, I figured I'd put my spin on some of the more distinctive jobs in the world of gaming. Please forgive my lack of images; Photobucket is under the forbidden category of: "MP3/Streaming". Thanks, Vic.

Street Fighter.
This job should appeal to anyone who has a problem with pent up aggression from, say, an unsatisfying work environment or reading classic literature. Travel around the world, meet new people, and fight them! There are no wages to speak of, as most vaguely defined "fighting tournaments" don't have much of a payout structure, unless you plan on retiring on revenge. High risk of injury, no health coverage, nor worker's compensation; but, one day, you could fight your way up the corporate ladder, and be the boss!

Anti-Proliferation Operative.
(Or whatever you want to call Solid Snake's occupation.) No longer reaping the sweet benefits of government affiliation? Well, you could always be an independent soldier fighting for what you believe in, even if it is as narrow a goal as destroying mobile all terrain nuclear platforms. (Metal Gear?!) Must be willing to face next-gen special forces, including, but not limited to, psychics, mad bombers, and cyborg ninjas. Cloned individuals preferred; animal codename a must. Must be able to fit inside a cardboard box. Please, no claustrophobes.

Career Criminal.
Eclectic, enterprising individual needed to take over crime-infested city. Must have no qualms about hotwiring vehicles, participating in street violence, or killing hookers. Applicant must be willing to work with various employers, with an erratic pay schedule. Lots of freedom! Familiarity with bicycles, cars, trucks, motorcycles, helicopters, fixed wing aircraft, parachutes, jet skis, speedboats, yachts, tanks, golf carts, ambulances, fire trucks, tractors, and pizza delivery scooters recommended. Good navigational skills a plus. It may also be a good idea to retain legal representation.

Spherehunter.
Scattered, hidden, round objects containing video footage (or sometimes outfits) need finding, and it is up to you to track them down. Tour the new Spira in your search, and try to find clues to the semi-existence of your lost loved one, if applicable. Must be willing to undress in front of colleagues at a moment's notice. Having your own airship is a big plus. Previous High Summoning experience couldn't hurt; should have some knowledge of public relations. Spherehunting is on-again, off-again work, so please be prepared to change jobs continually.