Sergeilicious

There has been very much Tekken lately at my abode. It seems like it's always a good time to scare up a round with Legoman or an unsuspecting house guest. I've dedicated myself as of late to Sergei as my primary, though when I played DR on PSP I was much heavier on Armor King usage. Sergei's slow, technical Sambo is a little awkward to wield against Lego's Law and some of the other swift characters I face, but I've had a pretty damn good record lately, so I cannot complain too much.

And with Tekken 6 looming on the horizon, all of my practice includes cognizance of the changes that the gameplay will be undergoing. For one thing, sidesteps are apparently faster this time around, which should no doubt cause a problem for Sergei's left-side weakness. Low parries reportedly will be giving slightly less frame advantage, however word is that Sergei is getting a low reversal (df+1+2) to compensate. The rest of the cast seems to be left out, though. (Awww... too bad.)

But most importantly, his running right punch (WR+2) will now bounce the opponent, leading to juggles, not unlike the way his Russian Sickle (f,f+2) currently does on Counter Hit. Needless to say, I'm verily titillated. Lego, predictably, is much more excited about big fat Bob.

It is unclear at this point when Tekken 6 might hit North American PS3s, and there is definitely a possibility I would have access to the console version before I could find it in an arcade in this podunk capitol city. So I'm hoping to see it next spring, nestled in the fuzzy time frame that includes MGS4 and SSBB.

In the meantime, I'll continue to teach Lego's Wang the hard way...

(b+2,1,3~1+2) bitch! You better ask somebody!!11

Motherfucker

I wiped all of my PS3 saved data yesterday when I inadvertently deleted my user profile. Yeah, my dozen hours in Enchanted Arms... My Intel, Superhuman difficulty, and progress in Resistance... My bronze ducky... Poptart's custom Lili costume... All the species in fl0w...

And no, I don't really feel like talking about it.

SLC MvC2 FTW

Apologies for the gross lack of activity here on Final Form; We've been experiencing a mid-summer influx of busyness. I've only been back a scant week from a conference at the Salt Palace Convention Center in Utah. The day of our arrival it was an arid 104°, and I was yet still more aghast at the dry character of the Salt Lake area. Not really the most vibrant place I've ever been.

While mingling with other industry schlubs, my associate and I found ourselves with significant downtime between panels. I ventured to the nearby outdoor mall to subsist the local economy, and I was quite pleased to find not only an EB Games, but also a Tilt arcade! It had a typical collection of shooters, racers, and, my specialty, fighters. My fingers were crossed in anticipation, hoping against hope that I might stumble upon a Dark Resurrection cab.

Tekken Tag and Tekken 4, yes. But alas, no Tekken 5 to be found, Darkly Resurrected or otherwise. On the plus side, I was pleased to find Marvel Vs. Capcom 1 and 2, and Soul Calibur II. I quickly ran through MvC2 alone to leave the old KIL initials emblazoned at the top of the High Score screen, and then I started patronizing SCII, with a careful eye on the MvC2 machine.

Aha! A fly soon became enwrapped in the hyperactive web I was staking out. I waited until the teenager played through a CPU bout or two before I strolled over unassumingly. "Can I get in?" I politely asked. I'm sure this fresh-faced competitor was somewhat confused by Business Attire Killa gaming alongside the sandals and t-shirt types, but, of course, my challenge was accepted.

I didn't want to bring anything less than my A game, so in lieu of Akuma in my second slot, I picked the honorable Nathan Summers (Projectile), along with Sentinel (Ground) in the lead off position, and Cammy (AAA) as the closer. I don't specifically recall the opposing team, save for Cyclops, but I managed to edge him out in both of our clashes, resulting in him walking away somewhat disheartened.

I practiced Ms. White's Air Throw loop for a few minutes against the AI, and then abandoned the machine to once again lie in wait while I mindlessly dispensed Xianghua's tricky combinations. Another youth eventually approached the crossover cabinet, and was playing with an uber-newbie team of Wolvie/Wolvie/Spidey. I let him play a few rounds before cutting in with teh pwnage. I took a bit of a gamble and swapped Akuma in for Cable, but against such an amateur I could have used Spiral/Akuma/Cammy and still have cakewalked it.

I guess this should be no surprise, as SLC is not known for its arcade scene, though it did make me feel the stick practice at home had been paying off. MvC2 does not require the double quarter circle motion with which I've been struggling lately, but still, it was nice to emerge victorious over human opponents without the safety net of the comfortable and familiar d-pad.

Also, I Have This Cake

Not only did I procure my PS3 earlier this month, but just yesterday I was able to recoup the difference post-price cut with the assistance of the helpful Best Buy customer support staff. With my $105 refund in hand, I picked up the drastically cheaper Enchanted Arms as my second PS3 disc. I've been looking for an RPG lately, as I draw near the close of Valkyrie Profile (Goddamn you, Jotunheim Ice Palace!), and while I was considering a replay of either FFVII or FFVIII, for a mere Jackson I can treat myself to this notoriously conventional offering. Keif has been prodding me to use the refund on two more Sixaxes so that some intense splitscreen Resistance might take place, but Catarina has been trying to persuade me otherwise, in hopes of waiting for the seemingly imminent rumble-ready Sixaxis upgrade.

Meanwhile, like everyone else, I've been mastering the Heavenly Sword demo (all two minutes of it) between oglings of the RE5 trailer.

Proactive Interference Blues

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. My transition from the directional pad to my new Hori Fighting Stick 3 has been abysmal. I've been using the stick for SCIII and Third Strike, and though Soul Cal isn't quite as jarring a shock, the rapid fire inputs neccesary in Capcom's 2D fighters have forced the realization that I need to retrain myself to an extent for which I was unprepared. I'm thinking a hyperbolic time chamber may be in order to solve this dilemma.

I've read a handful of threads on the subject, and expectedly they all give me the old "practice, practice, practice" advice. But goddamn, it has been rough. My Dragon Punch input (f,d,df/623) is getting to the point of reliability, though my RDP (b,d,db/421) has been pretty hit or miss. Oh, and the Super Art motion (qcf,qcf/236236) I hit about once in every ten attempts, which is unmistakably a match-losing percentage.

On top of that, my strings are too disconnected to combo. I don't think I've hit Akuma's crouching forward, short Tatsumaki, fierce Gou Shoryu once yet. Shit, I can barely throw Zanku Hadous on my first attempt. My parrying is virtually non-existent. If I recall correctly, in my latest set of 3s matches with Legoman, all of which were against his solid Ryu, the only match I eked out was with Dudley, with whom I am only peripherally proficient. (Luckily for me, Lego was completely unprepared for Dud's Cross Counter. ^^)

Take for instance one of my favorite Cervantes setups. The Dread Charge (qcb+B/214B) into the dash cancel (f+B+K/6BK) into his Phantasmal Fleet command throw (qcf,qcf+B+G/236236BG). I had hoped this would become easier with my new stick, but I am even further away now than I was before. My fingers are clumsy, and my stick control imprecise.

My Killa style... I mourns it!!

I do not doubt the sage advice of my fellow fighter fans, that there is a glorious glowing light shining at the end of this arduous tunnel, shining brightly with the promise of faster inputs and kara cancels. Right now, though, that light is a dot. It is a motherfucking dot.

E3 Predictions: Killa Edition

What do I think?

• The PSP redesign seems like a lock, and I have quite a keen interest as I have already devised a plan to hawk my current old-gen unit ahead of the release whenever it may be. I suppose I should get moving, though. Moments after the announcement hits the value is going to take a nose-dive.
• I also have to agree with Bis Sis on a new SSBBrawl character announced, and likewise I would not be surprised by a third partier. My third party pick would be Mega Man, if he wouldn't be so damn similar to Kirby. Taito's Bub and Bob would also be nice, as would Jak with Daxter, though they really don't fit the platform criteria. If they bust out an in-house shocker, I've got all my pink chips on Birdo.
• To continue to piggyback, I think any announcment from Ueda's camp would be an HD Remix of Shadow of the Colossus. I don't think we're going to get any real taste of an original project. Sorry.
• I think Capcom's SSF2THDR and SPF2THDR will be dated and priced. Date? November-ish. Price? A bit tougher to guess. We'd be lucky to see them for $8, although I think anything over $15 would be a mistake. (That's PSN dollars by the way, which is roughly equivalent to real money.)
• The new MGS4 trailer will elaborate further upon the unknowns that are omnipresent in the enigma that is Guns of the Patriots. My guess? Keep your eyes peeled for Vamp.

E3 Predictions: Catarina Edition

I've been on the edge of my seat all this week. So many uncertainties to be resolved this month---Are they redesigning the PSP or not? Will Harry Potter die at the end of Book the Seventh? Will I turn twenty-six on schedule?

My preparations are all ready. My husband is poised to get me that PSP to take the sting out of hitting those mid-to-late twenties, somehow so much more depressing than the early-to-mid twenties. I have requested PSP games to accompany my new handheld. I have even secured some sweet headphones for the purpose. Everything hinges on E3 and the announcements it brings.

People all over the Web are speculating on what surprises that E3 has up its figurative sleeve. Kotaku is even running a fantasy betting pool. Early dribs and drabs have been coming out all week in anticipation of the big event, but there must surely still be some surprises in store.

My own predictions:

• Sony will reveal the redesigned PSP. Although I'm hoping against hope that they don't---I don't want to wait 'til X-Mas for my toy!---I think this is as sure a thing as any.
  
• Nintendo will announce major news regarding Super Smash Brothers: Brawl. But what will it be? My money is on a new character unveil---but will it be a Nintendo stable staple? Or third-party madness? As Nintendo's keynote follows Microsoft's and Sony's, a Brawl bombshell could put them in position to overshadow the other two speeches. Can you say Sonic?
  
• Team ICO will announce their newest project. We all know they've got something under their hat. The unexpected pre-E3 price cut on the Playstation 3 gave the console a sales bump this week, and news of a successor to ICO and Shadow of the Colossus from Ueda and friends could really help sustain the upswing.
  
• Although this one falls squarely in the slim-to-none-chance category, I'm hoping that Namco Bandai will announce that Eternal Sonata (aka Trusty Bell: Chopin's Dream) is coming to the PS3 in addition to the XBox 360.
  
• Finally, I believe Nintendo will unveil a new Mario Kart title for the Wii. Come on, Nintendo. The Mario Kart franchise is money in the freaking bank. I don't know what's taken them so long, honestly.

Fighting Stanzas: Accent Cure

Localization How sweet a thing it can be ^Core - fuck yes Sleek white box be damned Waggle controls? What the fuck? C'mon, stick with it Coming soon... stateside A.B.A. and throw escapes Order Sol's Force Breaks Fighters, Celebrate! Aksys to be commended Killa's problem solved

Bossa Nova Monday: Evil Ryu

He's a bad motherfucker.

Evil Ryu is a "What If" character from the Street Fighter universe. The end of the first World Warrior tournament (from SF1) was retconned to contain the following scenario: A victorious Sagat standing over the all but beaten Ryu, and as the Thai fighter offered his hand to help his fallen opponent up, the surge of the intent to kill,

or Satsui no Hadou, a force that Ryu had never been taught by Gouken, emerged within him. He struck his rival with the ultimate wake-up attack, the Metsu Shoryuken. This blow nearly killed Sagat, tearing his chest open, and in the process won the tournament for Ryu.

Aside from that one moment, canonically speaking, Evil Ryu has never been heard from again. He appears outside of Street Fighter's actual continuity in Street Fighter Alpha/Zero 3, and only as a boss in World Tour mode. In this incarnation, whether as a boss or as a playable character, he is an incredibly powerful combatant. He is the strongest and fastest Ansatasuken warrior (aka shoto-clone) save only for Shin Akuma. He gains the notorious Instant Hell Murder and a few other tricks normally reserved only for those who have turned to the darkside of the style.

Japanese Name:	Satsui no Hadou ni Mezameta Ryu
Style:	Lethal Goutetsu-style Ansatsuken
Signature Moves:	Metsu Shoryuken, Shun Goku Satsu
Weaknesses:	None
Distinguishing Features:	A darker gi, the kanji 殺 (Murder)
Difficulty:	9/10
Similar Characters:	Violent Ken (SVC), Nightmare (Soul Calibur), Order Sol (Guilty Gear), Devil Jin (Tekken)

Gamers in the Wild

Last night, my husband and I went to the Kennedy Center to see Video Games Live, the game music concert. As I mentioned previously, Killa was unable to attend because of a work function. His history with the event is thus: He was all set to see VGL when they were touring in 2005, but they canceled their DC show (along with others) and so he didn't get to see it then. This time around, his place of business is in the middle of their busiest week of the year, so, again, he wasn't able to see it. He will have to live it vicariously through this blog post.

I feel obligated to briefly explain what Video Games Live is, because apparently this knowledge is not ubiquitous. Perhaps fifteen minutes before leaving for the show, my husband said to me: "So, is this going to be people on the stage playing video games, live? Or what?" VGL is a symphonic performance (in this case, performed by the National Symphony Orchestra and the Master Chorale of Washington) of music from various video games, accompanied by video clips from the featured games and some onstage live performance. During the pre-show they held a cosplay contest in which a young man dressed as Link beat out a couple dressed as Mario and Peach cart-racers to win a Nintendo Wii. I imagine he then went home and played Twilight Princess on it in the most Escheresque example of meta-gaming imaginable.

The show itself featured a medley of classic arcade music and the music from Super Mario Brothers, Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, World of Warcraft, Halo, Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear Solid, Advent Rising, Final Fantasy, Medal of Honor, Civilization IV, God of War, Tron, and possibly others I can't remember offhand. Sid Meier himself came on stage to introduce the music from Civ IV and to announce (in what host Tommy Tallarico called a "Video Games Live exclusive") that the Civilization series would be coming to handhelds and consoles, which would have been exciting if I had not read it on Kotaku last week. Oh well.

The Metal Gear Solid segment featured a hilarious live-action skit with a man (ostensibly Snake) in the infamous cardboard box giving an armed guard the slip. My husband, having just finished God of War last week, was particularly impressed with that segment. And, even though I'm picking on Sid Meier, and though I haven't played any of his games, I thought the music from Civ IV was especially beautiful and moving.

The absolute highlight of the evening (for me) was Martin Leung, the Video Game Pianist, who made a guest appearance playing a solo piano rendition of his Final Fantasy medley. SquareEnix apparently won't let them show game footage from any of its games on the monitor during the show (boo? This was also a hindrance to the Kingdom Hearts segment, which featured footage from Disney movies only). Instead, the monitor showed Leung playing his piano for the duration, which was fine with me, as he's one of the most animated players I've ever seen. I was able to pick out "Zanarkand" from X, "Aerith's Theme" from VII, "Eyes on Me" from VIII, "One-Winged Angel" from VII, and, of course, the recurring victory fanfare and the crystal theme.

All in all, I suppose I would have liked to hear more music from Final Fantasy ("Liberi Fatali" or "Eyes on Me" are highly recognizable favorites); perhaps I should have just gone to see Dear Friends. The symphony played "One-Winged Angel" as their final encore, and the entire house went nuts. We had a wonderful time and would go again if the opportunity presents itself (hopefully, next time, with Killa and Poptart). I would encourage anyone to go see this show if you have the chance.

Bossa Nova Monday: Dark Link

Me and My Shadow.

In honor of the Blogging Zelda project, which has allowed me to vicariously experience beating Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (something I have never accomplished, and likely never shall), and as a grim harbinger of next week's Bossa Nova offering, this week the spotlight is on Link. More accurately, on the sinister shadow that spotlight casts.

Dark Link and his cousin, Shadow Link, are a staple of the Zelda series. Dark Link is typically a carbon copy of the hero in every way save for his sinister, blacked-out appearance, whereas Shadow Link is often a weaker version of Link that appears in groups. The first Dark Link in the series is the final boss of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Another famous variant is the Dark Link sub boss who appears in the Water Temple in the Ocarina of Time. Dark Link is often armed with all of the same techniques as the regular Link, and sometimes with more or stronger techniques. Shadow Link appears in Oracle of Ages and Four Swords Adventures. Dark/Shadow Link also makes a cameo appearance in the latest offering, Twilight Princess, during a cutscene in which the history of the Twili people is explained to Link.

Mode of Attack:	Turns your own attacks back on you.
Signature Move:	Same as yours.
Weaknesses:	Unexpected or untargeted attacks.
Distinguishing Features:	Looks just like Link---but darker.
Difficulty:	Varies from game to game.
Similar Characters:	Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic series), Dark Samus (Metroid), Next Week's Boss (???)

A Natural Right

I was in the middle of writing something else for the blog when I read the news about Manhunt 2. This would have been easy for me to overlook because, to be honest, Manhunt is not a franchise that is on my radar. It's too distastefully violent for me. That's a perfectly fine reason for me not to buy it; but is it a good enough reason for it to be illegal to buy it anywhere in a whole country? Illegal for an adult to purchase for play in their own home?

Apparently.

In the United States, the ESRB is giving Manhunt 2 a rating of AO (Adults Only), which will effectively quash retail sales (since major "big box" retailers such as WalMart and Target won't carry any game with an AO rating). However, the AO rating in the USA isn't the same as banning. For one thing, the video game industry (both on the development side and the retail side) is self-regulatory. There's no legal authority overseeing the ESRB; there's no law stating that games have to be rated (although many retailers will not stock unrated games); most importantly, there's no federal law regulating the games that can or cannot be sold to minors. Just as moviemakers can decide to publish an unrated movie, so can game companies publish unrated games. Target won't stock an AO game, but they could. Gamestop won't sell an AO game to minors, but they could. Like movie ratings, game ratings are voluntarily enforced. In most U.S. locales, it's not a crime to sell a movie ticket to an R-rated movie to a person under the age of seventeen. Neither is it a crime to sell an M-rated game to a person under the age of seventeen. In most parts of the United States (maybe not in New York), it is the right of parents to discern what materials are appropriate for their children to be exposed to. And American adults are free to make those decisions for themselves.

While it's unfortunate for Take Two and Rockstar that Manhunt 2 is going to receive an AO rating, I can understand where the ESRB is coming from and agree with their rating. While I'm not familiar with the franchise, the AO rating is appropriate for games that feature "prolonged scenes of intense violence," which are what Manhunt 2 is ostensibly all about. However, the United Kingdom's BFCC, in refusing to rate Manhunt 2, has caused the game to be banned from sale anywhere in Great Britain. According to a press release on BBFC's website, Manhunt 2's "availability, even if statutorily confined to adults, would be unacceptable to the public." I'm not sure I can get my mind around how Great Britain can get away with so blatantly infantalizing its adult citizens. This is the kind of paternalistically driven censorship that Americans are trying to exterminate in the third world. It is unconscionable in the first.

If Take Two is not successful in appealing the BFCC's ruling, then Manhunt 2 will become the first game to be banned from sale in the United Kingdom (Carmageddon was banned in 1997, but that ban was later overturned). I hope that T2 will appeal this ruling in the United Kingdom and that they will be successful. In the mean time, let us go and tend our garden.

Parrying Makes Perfect

I beat Third Strike mere moments ago with Alex, having already recently beaten it with Akuma, Yun, and Ibuki. That leaves conquering Arcade Mode with fifteen more characters to unlock all the pages of System Direction. I have to say there are few things in the game more aesthetically satisfying than finishing off a particularly tough match with Ibuki's EX Kubi Ori. I'm still not proficient in the practice of parries, but once I'm playing on my new Hori Fighting Stick 3 perchance I will spend some time on intensive training. Wish I knew where there was a 3s machine was somewhere.

Bossa Nova Monday: FryGuy

The Importance of Being Furnace

Along with Tryclyde, Mouser, Clawgrip, and Birdo, FryGuy is one of the five recurring bosses in the world of Subcon. Super Mario Bros. 2 was a drastically different game from its predecessor (for obvious reasons), and one of the most notable changes was the variety of the bosses faced by the player. As opposed to repeated King Koopas and the occasional Hammer Bro., SMB2 featured a colorful cast of villains. Mouser may have been cooler, and Birdo more ground-breaking, but FryGuy allows me to use the extremely witty subtitle I concocted.

One should take into account that FryGuy existed at a time before ember particle effects and heat haze distortion. Yet he still managed to convey the essence of spreading flames through his tendency to split into mini-FryGuys before being completely extinguished. All in all, a very memorable boss from my developmental gaming days.

Mode of Attack:	Spitting Fireballs; Burning
Signature Move:	Asexual Reproduction aka Spreading Like Wild Fire
Weaknesses:	Mushroom Blocks; presumably water
Distinguishing Features:	Incendiary heat; incandescent light
Difficulty:	4/10
Similar Characters:	Heat Man (MM2), Fyrus (LotZ:TP), The Fury (MGS3)

The End of the World

Yesterday, June 13, was "Blog Like It's the End of the World Day." Everyone was supposed to write a blog entry as though the world were under attack by zombies. I would have participated, had I known in advance, but these things have a way of sneaking up on me (see also Talk Like a Pirate Day).

I don't know about you, but I treat every day like we're only one zombie attack away from obliteration because, let's face it, we may well be only one zombie attack away from obliteration. There's just no way to know.

In any case, I'm sorry I missed international zombie uprising blog day because gaming has a long, rich history of zombie inclusion and representation. A colleague and I, shirking work for a few minutes, were discussing the brilliance of a collaborative, War of the Worlds-esque "widespread zombie attacks" scenario in the blogosphere when it came to light that I have never played Resident Evil in any of its various iterations.

My colleague, a non-gamer at that, was visibly shocked and said incredulously: "But even I've played Resident Evil." My gamer cred is suffering with her, I can tell. I must stress that it would be impossible to overemphasize her shock and incredulity.

It is a damn shame, and I'm properly embarassed about it. Resident Evil (Biohazard in Japan) is a gaming industry mainstay and in the top 20 best-selling game franchises of all time. Japan has even issued a commemorative stamp in honor of its ten-year anniversary. The thing is, playing as Jill Valentine all those years ago I walked into the hallway where the zombie dobermans come crashing in through the window and that was it for me. Too scary. I mean zombies are scary enough, but you can get away from them because they're shambling. Not so the MA-39 Cerberus; they're fast, and snarling and slavering and scary. My Jill Valentine took shelter in a nearby closet, and she's been in there ever since.

Resident Evil was really a pioneer of the survival horror genre, which has become an increasingly popular subset of games. Capcom's 2006 blockbuster Dead Rising for the XBox 360 is a testament to this phenomenon. Naturally, I haven't played Dead Rising as I don't own a 360; as Killa has mentioned before, Dead Rising is one of the few titles on the Microsoft platform that really inspires jealousy in us.

Even outside of the survival horror genre, zombies make memorable appearances throughout the industry. Take ReDeads from the Legend of Zelda series, for example. These creepy f***ers have no business being in a Legend of Zelda game. That ear-splitting, paralyzing shriek when Link makes eye contact with them; their slow, shambling progression toward Link as he stands frozen in place, quaking, waiting for the paralysis to wear; you desperately jam every controller button---or swing your wiimote around like a cowboy, if you're playing Twilight Princess---but they just keep coming. It's been noted that the frightening ReDeads are out of place in the Legend of Zelda series, an unexpectedly terrifying apparition in a series that is often suitable for children.

Not all zombies are horrible, though. Perhaps the least loathable game zombie is Sir Auron from Final Fantasy X. On the surface FFX appears to be, much like every other FF game, a convoluted, action-packed adventure full of political overtones and set in a rich, detailed fantasy milieux, all overlying a poignant love story. Another analysis of FFX is that it's a crazy, zombie-infested doomsday tale; a zombie sleeper hit, even. Think about it---who among them is not an unsent (that is, a person who has died but whose spirit has not been sent to the farplane)? Every turn in FFX leads you to the revelation that someone is a zombie. Even the main boss, Yu Yevon, is cruising around the world in a giant zombie fish thing. Likewise, Seymour Guado---and his creepy mother, the aeon Anima (or Fish Mummy, Killa and I like to call her)---, the Maesters of Yevon, Beldemine, Yunalesca, one by one turn out to be unsent. Finally, Yuna's trusty bodyguard, Auron, too, turns out to be undead.

If I had had time to concoct a blog entry for yesterday's event, it would have read something like this:

Work is cancelled because there's a zombie uprising. Going to try to finish Odin Sphere with the unexpected free time. If I'm not too tired later, maybe looting and rioting.

If there was a mass zombie uprising, I'm afraid I'd be woefully unprepared, having never played through the training manual.

Bossa Nova Monday: The Queen

Level Two, Start!

It's fresh in my mind, so now it's fresh in yours! Ico is a surreal experience, much like its spiritual successor. And not unlike Shadow of the Colossus, Ueda's earlier venture is about as far away from a hack'n'slash as you can get. While Shadow may have had sixteen zomg bosses and no weak enemies, Ico has a set number of encounters with the castle's minions, and only one boss fight.

That fight is, appropriately enough, with the Queen of the castle, Yorda's mother. Every time you run in to her, she spouts off words of discouragement, and when you finally confront her face-to-face you get to show her what a horned boy can do. This fight really isn't that hard. (Actually nothing in Ico is.) Once you understand the consequences of being caught out in the open by one of her attacks, you merely need to ingrain the cycle of approach, attack, retreat, retrieve, and repeat. Now you just need to make sense of the game's ending.

Weapon:	Her legion of Smokemen
Signature Move:	Petrification
Weakness:	Her frail, aging body; the Idol Sword
Distinguishing Features:	Constantly surrounded by a shroud of swirling smoke
Difficulty:	2/10
Quote:	"That is Yorda's fate... she will be the receptacle for my soul, so to speak. When she awakes, her memories of you will have vanished."
Similar Characters:	Queen Brahne (FFVIII), Vega (SFA), Smoke (MK)

Looking Sharp

Wowzorz! Anybody see the latest sprites from Capcom's blog detailing the development of Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix? Cannot fucking wait till this drops for the PSN... Instant Hell Murder never looked so good.

Odds and Ends (Catarina Edition)

Allergy season is in full swing and I could not be any more miserable than I am. I have gone through several boxes of Kleenex in the last month alone. The Claritin, it does nothing! Fortunately, I have at least one thing to look forward to in the coming weeks. After being alerted by Joystiq's post on the subject, I got tickets for myself and my husband to see Video Games Live at the Kennedy Center. Unfortunately, Killa won't be able to join us due to a work obligation.

Because there wasn't enough fussin' and a-feudin' in the world already, Square Enix definitively confirmed Final Fantasy XIII as a PS3 exclusive (via IGN). Read through the comments at your own risk, if you feel you are prepared to witness the depth and breadth of fan's inhumanity to fan. I'm less interested in the news itself than in the reaction from soldiers on both sides of the console war.

In other news, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link was the one-hundredth game offered on the Wii Virtual Console, debuting this week. I never beat Zelda II when I was playing it twenty years ago, because it was too difficult. However, in the age of the Internet (the GameFAQs age), anything is possible. Also new this week is one of my all-time favorite NES games, Milon's Secret Castle. If, like me, you have forgotten how to get the spring shoes, you should check out the awesome Milon's Secret Website.

Finally---I saved this for the end since it has embedded video, although it's probably the most interesting tidbit in this post---Bethesda Softworks has released a teaser trailer for Fallout 3. I'm looking forward to this game more, perhaps, than is appropriate considering I never played Fallout 1 or Fallout 2. And not simply because Liam Neeson is going to be providing some of the voice work. Enjoy!

Get Lucky: Part Snake Eyes

The Odds Stat

As much as I disdain straying in the slightest from the world of videogames, Marvel Comics has always been very good to us gamers, so I think this one trespass can be forgiven. Marvel introduced Longshot in 1985 in a six part limited series. He was a four-fingered alien with hollow bones and the reality altering powers that resulted in him having unnaturally good luck. (And as we've seen from the Scarlet Witch, the ability to defy probability is quite the volatile gift.)

He even appeared as a selectable character in the obscure 1990 DOS RPG X-Men II: The Fall of the Mutants. He also lent his name to a piece of equipment in X-Men Legends II, a nifty item called The Luck of the Longshot. He is oft overshadowed in the videogame arena by his nemesis Spiral due to her appearance in Capcom fighters, most notably in the lead off slot of Duc Do's highly successful MvC2 team of Spiral/Cable/Sentinel.

But enough periphery. An intriguing ability, to have perpetually good luck. Though the Slots of which I spoke in Part I may be mastered through the exercise of hand-eye coordination there is still an element of chance within the spinning reels. Quantifying someone's luck, though, seems like a ridiculous task. That is to say, unless you are a game developer.

Take the cult classic post-apocalyptic RPG Fallout. Luck is one of the primary stats present in the game's robust character creation mode. The shelling out one's bonus points towards Luck provides a higher critical chance, improvement of some skills, and has some effect on the story.

It can be particularly effective to allocate enough points to bring Luck to 9 or 10, and then pick the Jinxed trait, which would normally cause you and everyone around you to have more critical failures, i.e. misfires and whiffs. With a prodigious luck sum, however, you will be invulnerable to this effect, and only your opponents (and allies) will be subject to this misfortune. There is also the Alien Blaster weapon, that can only be acquired through a rare random encounter in the desert that is stumbled upon exclusively by the highly lucky vault-dwellers.

Take another classic, the PS1 smash Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Alucard's Luck will determine the frequency of dropped items from fallen foes, the chances of a critical hit, and also the likelihood of the Talisman item's effect kicking in and absorbing damage in your stead. MagusB has written an intriguing Luck Mode FAQ, which covers a Luck Mode run through. It is a sort of New Game+ challenge starting with ridiculously weak statistics and 99 Luck, which apparently completely changes the feel of the game. It is suggested that one is wise to abandon the use of magic and subweapons. Also, the aforementioned Talismans that are next to useless on a regular playthrough due to the rarity of their activation are the saving grace of the highly luckly vampire hunters.

And Square Enix, wow. Not only do they have a passionate love affair with slots (e.g. VI's Setzer or VIII's Selphie), they too embrace the luck statistic, off and on. In the luck-oriented X-2 of which I have already made mention, it is used as a roll, if you will, against status ailments sticking. In the toughest neighborhood in Spira, the notorious Via Infinito dungeon, the villainous Chac fiend will make short work of your descent by petrifying YuRiPa in the Glare of an eye. It is highly recommended that one uses the Ray of Hope Garment Grid's Luck-boosting effect in conjunction with the Lady Luck jobsphere's naturally good fortune to avoid the stony fate of many a reckless Gullwing. Preparation, you see, that's what I call making your own luck.

All in all, chance is a bit of a paradox in videogames. Timeseeding functions replace real randomness, and good fortune translates into finding nice loot. I suppose it's better than how luck works in real life, though. What with bad luck and all.

Odds and Ends

Hey, speaking of MvC2, I've been playing it a lot lately. I finally broke my old High Score in Arcade Mode. I cracked two billion (2000000000) points. That's a lot of points!! I couldn't have done it without this charming mechanical fellow to my right. In so many matches, my partners never tag in, they merely assist. Ms. White to makeup for Sent's notorious weakness to attacks from above, and Mr. Raging Demon for the Tatsumaki Expanision Assist plus Flight Mode raves (= Crazy Repetitious).

I suppose I should mention that I hit an arcade yesterday for some kicks. Totally got pwned... I need more stick practice. T.T

Beat Ico a few days back. Definitely a game everybody should play... once. Although, personally, I think Shadow of the Colossus is the better game. And in no small measure either. Shadow towers over Ico like Malus the Grand Gigas towers over a simple Smokeman.

I picked up Mario Party 8 as a favor to Poptart and, in my personal opinion, it has a lovely box. Yeah, I have been forbidden to open it until her return from the Banks, but as soon as she returns and we get a chance to Party, I'll let ya'll know the haps. As Catarina and I have already kibitzed, the reviews are pretty spread out across the rating spectrum. It comes down to the old Penny Arcade syllogism, "All you do is bark. You never meow." It seems a number of critics don't even like the idea of Mario Party, and grade it down based largely on its genre. It is akin to reviewing a puzzle game, and complaining that it doesn't have enough blowing up of stuff. (Every Extend Extra aside.)

Oh yeah, I'm also so close to buying a PS3 I can taste it. (In fact, I tasted Catarina's when she was out of the room.) I'm pretty set on grabbing F.E.A.R as my first title, even though I'm not much of an FPS fan. It is also odd that I've been piqued by Ubisoft's Haze, which is speculatively slated to be Halo 3's release rival. Planet Earth on Blu Ray is also near the top of my list, as well as fl0w and Super Rub-a-Dub. The retail dates for Assassin's Creed and Heavenly Sword are still up in the air, so, you know, those are more vague desires than planned purchases.

As Poptart pointed out, I don't have an HDTV at the homestead, but I get the feeling that owning the new Sony space heater might be the catalyst for convincing Legoman to go halfsies on a new set.

According to Google Analytics, our Bossa Nova segment was a mild success. So, due to whelming demand, and the fact that I have a killer subtitle cooked up for one boss, we will be executing a second round of Bossa Nova articles, hopefully beginning this Monday. Will your favorite boss be featured? Stay tuned! (Or not, whatever...)

Catch you on the flipside.

Spin Cycle

To kick off the long holiday weekend, I spent Thursday afternoon playing kickball with several of my colleagues. Although the play was certainly "idyllic" and "pastoral," as we hoped, it also resulted in some very sore muscles and a wicked allergy attack, so I spent Friday at home, on the couch, with a family-sized box of Kleenex and my shiny new copy of Odin Sphere (one could say that I regressed to my "larval stage" for a day). Kickball notwithstanding, I am an adult, so I also devoted part of my day to doing laundry. That's in the interest of full disclosure.

After playing kickball, on Thursday night, I dropped in on my local Gamestop to see if they had any copies of Odin Sphere in stock. They did, just one (the gutted store copy). The clerk indicated to me that they weren't expecting this title to be a quick seller. However, when Penny Arcade calls something "an absolute must play" it's probably going to get a significant sales boost. For my part, the PA endorsement went a long way but in my household we're big fans of anything localized by Atlus USA (so many [hundreds of] hours sunk into Disgaea and Disgaea 2) so I probably would have picked it up in any case.

Odin Sphere employs a narrative framing device that sets all the action within a series of books being read by little girl in the attic of her home. The story of each of the main characters---Gwendolyn, Cornelius, Mercedes, Oswald, and Velvet---plays out in a separate book, but each story intertwines with all the others to produce the main narrative of Odin Sphere. A character who has tragically died in one book might appear again in another as the events of each book unfold before, during, and after the events of the others.

The sprites and animation are very beautiful and detailed. I think almost everyone knows by now that this is a two-dimensional, side-scrolling beat-em-up/RPG hybrid, but there's a twist. Each stage is a ring, so if you scroll in one direction long enough you'll eventually scroll back around to the starting point. Several of these rings are strung together in a non-linear group to form a level. Clearing the final boss stage clears the level, so you can proceed by a direct path to the boss or you can meander through all of the different stages to max out on experience for your weapon and your hit-point gauge.

The alchemy/gardening system adds several layers of depth and strategy. You can grow fruit and even animals from seeds and eat the proceeds to restore hit points and gain experience toward leveling them up. Later in the game, you can carry food items from the battlefield to the "Pooka village" restaurant to create gourmet dishes that will rapidly upgrade your hit points (if you can stomach the Pooka proprietess' terrible voice acting). You can also combine nearly any item in the game with a "Material" to create potions for healing or buffing yourself, potions to damage or debuff enemies, and other miscellaneous potions (for instance, Juggler magically transforms all of the items on the ground into different items at random---great for potentially turning your inventory trash into treasure).

The only other drawback (that is, other than the few instances of over-the-top acting in an otherwise excellent vocal track) is a ridiculous slowdown in the framerate in a few places. So far I've only noticed this on major boss stages that have a lot of action going on, but when this slowdown happens it's incredibly annoying. I'm thinking of playing through the first book again on my PS2 to determine if the slowdown is endemic or if it's a product of playing a PS2 game on a system it wasn't designed for (the PS3). Additionally, the PS3 occasionally reads the save data as corrupted, but the data is actually fine. Exiting to the XMB and then re-loading the game turns up a perfectly fine save.

Atlus USA is known for pressing limited quantities of their games, so if you plan to get this game (and I highly recommend that you do, if you like this sort of game), get it now before it goes all Valkyrie Profile. (Or "all MvC2," as Killa would say.)

Get Lucky: Part I

Slots of Fun

As I mentioned a few PgDns ago, I've been indulging in Mario Party 7 recently. One minigame from which I experienced higher than average enjoyment was a Single Player Bowser Minigame called Slot-A-Whirl. It is a rather simplistic game; stop the three slot reels to line up three Bowser keys, and you get to keep whatever Bowser threatened to confiscate. Faire Square of Mario Party 6 has a very similar board event, and there are several other instances of slot-based game mechanics in the series.

Slot-A-Whirl caught my attention in part due to its difficulty. It is actually somewhat tricky, unlike the board event from Faire Square that is nigh impossible during the night phase. I fancy myself an afficionado of video game slots primarily due to my extended time with Final Fantasy X-2. After enough playtime, ordinary battles became unneccesary. Only boss battles required actually indulging in combat, and in such cases there are plenty of overpowered tactics to exploit, such as the Catnip Gunner or the Mascot dresspheres.

One of the easiest methods to access, even in one's first playthough, is the Lady Luck dressphere and her Slots ability. The three reels can combine to produce a wide range of effects, running the gamut from beneficial, to ineffectual, to disasteriffic. But once one masters the skill of selecting and executing different effects, one can draw great power from this randomness. (Extensive use of the pause function can aid in the quick adaptation to the system, in case you were wondering.)

The greatest of the offensive results is Dark Matter. A nifty little attack that fires off the old "one shy of ten grand" (i.e. 9999), which for much of the game is enough to Overkill anything that dares block the Gullwing's path. Besides through the Lady Luck loophole, Dark Matter is a rather rare item, and an otherwise valuable commodity in X-2 and other iterations of the Final Fantasy multiverse.

This meditation has stirred my interest in (yet another) FFVII play through, this time with a focus on Cait Sith. His Slot Limit Break is something I have left woefully unexplored. A quick look at the definitive FAQ of FFVII by Kao Megura (may he rest in peace) reveals that the effects of this one-armed bandit can include: a random Summon, a total HP/MP restore, the super Moogle, guaranteed criticals for a time, or instant death for your opponents or your party. Beats the hell out of a Dolphin Blow, no?

(to be continued...)

This Mortal Koil

You would think that, with Square Enix's Final Fantasy 20th Anniversary Party event last weekend and Sony's Gamer's Day 2007 earlier this week, I'd have something more compelling to write about than a port of a fourteen-year-old quarter quaffer, but you would think wrong.

While waiting for my hubby and Killa's Poptart to show up, Killa and I decided to play a few rounds of MK:II on the PS3 for old time's sake. Mortal Kombat II came out in the arcades when we were both preadolescent and we used to play all the time. I mean that seriously. We played on arcade machines at least once per week, for hours. When we went on family vacations, I would seek out MK:II machines in exotic locales and play those. The arcade inside Busch Gardens (Williamsburg) had a couple of MK:II machines with the blood and gore turned off; Disney World didn't have the game on their premises at all. I didn't care for MK:I before it. I didn't care for MK:III after it. As MK:II was phased out of the arcades in favor of its later iterations and the burgeoning lineup of 3D fighters in the mid-1990s, I phased myself out of the arcades in turn.

This is just another example of me and Killa growing up gaming.

Such was the background we brought with us as we commenced our first experience with playing online over PSN. You would think that this foray into the brave new world of the PlayStation Network would be the crux of this article, but, again, you would think wrong. Anyway, we signed in to my PSN account and proceeded to search for a game to join. Finding none, we set ourselves up as a host game and waited. And waited. I excused myself to use the restroom, and when I returned Killa had found a challenger and was going to town. We took turns playing against the first challenger for 20 or 30 minutes until he got fed up and left (presumably dishearted by our m4d ski11z). We were then dumped into single-player arcade mode but we only got through half of a round before a new challenger joined in. Subsequently we trounced a number of other challengers before meeting our match (and then some).

This guy random-selected his character every time and murdered us with every character. Even Johnny Cage! He knew every special move and every finishing move (apparently) with every character. Which brought us around to an overwhelming question: What has this guy been doing these past fourteen years? Is it possible that he's been playing Mortal Kombat II this whole time? Biding his time, always waiting for the second coming of the second coming of Mortal Kombat? That glorious day when he could finally emerge from his dark basement and once again feel the sun on his face? I wish I had his dedication, whoever he is. If I had had fourteen years of practice I'd be that good, too. If only I had known at the time that, fourteen years later, I'd be playing MK:II again. But this guy, he knew. Oh, he knew.

The only hitch I noticed in the online play was when I joined a game being hosted by someone else. There was tremendous lag and latency in the remotely hosted game. I imagine it's just that the host was playing with dial-up; I certainly hope this isn't the case whenever one joins a game that is hosted by someone else. I wasn't able to find any other games to join, so I can't be sure.

I've abandoned all of the other games I've been playing to brush up on my Kombat skills, so that when I meet this guy again I can krush him.

Strife of the Party

No, not Cloud Strife. >.>

Before I begin, let me just say that I know not everyone likes Mario Party. A lot of people think it is a horrid, simple game for stupid little kids.

I recommend these people not Jump the Gun. It is a great game for kids. It is also a varied collection of fun minigames combined with a unique social board game. I like minigames, and I like board games. What's not to like? Oh yeah - the cutesy, family friendly presentation. Meh. Boo riding atop a ravenous Chain Chomp in order to mug Luigi is the epitome of G-rated cool.

The first Wii incarnation of the series, Mario Party 8, is Kart Wheeling its way to retail at the end of the month. Needless to say, Poptart, Keif, and I are Book Squirming with anticipation and have been gearing up for the new installment by playing the daylights out of the Gamecube iterations (4,5,6, and 7) to Rumble Ready ourselves.

Also during a recent move, the memory cards containing saves for the aforementioned installments were somewhat misplaced, so we've made it our mission to go through the various enumerations re-unlocking characters, minigames, and boards. It is an enjoyable, though sometimes tedious exercise, but we assuredly have had the Will Flower to persist.

I was psyced to finally get around to Mario Party 7, which was a game we initially dismissed soon after acquisition. As exuberant Button Mashers, we prefer the two-on-two party mode. Unfortunately, unlike the previous games, 7 forces your Dungeon Duo to move together around the board, which greatly limits the strategies inherent in occupying two spaces. This nerfing originally put us off 7, although I was quite enamored with it due to the addition of Birdo and Dry Bones as playable characters.

In every other game Mario was my avatar, as it was his party and there is an ongoing superstition that the bullshit randomness of Mario Party seems to favor the red plumber, seeing as it is his party after all. As bizarre as it may be, I vastly prefer the gender-bending, egg-spitting, bow-wearing Birdo in all his/her pinkness to the titular protagonist. In no small way is this due to Birdo's incredibly annoying taunt. Its likeness to someone beatboxing through a kazoo tends to put opponents on Full Tilt.

Much of 7's hidden content has to be unlocked through the Solo Cruise mode, a sort of one-on-one Smashdance against a CPU opponent wherein each board has a unique win condition. I found this to be a revelation and easily the most enjoyable aspect of the game, allowing for more intense and faster paced matches. Bowser's Enchanted Inferno and Pyramid Park are about a kerjillion¹³³⁷ times more fun in this mode than in Party Mode. (And I get to play as the Pink Wonder.)

In case you've been Fishing Upon a Star that your spirit guide to the Mushroom Kingdom will be an avatar in the upcoming Mario Party 8, a gander at Wikipedia's entry reveals some news; All twelve characters from 7 return plus (...Weight for it...) Hammer Bro. and Blooper (!!). The Capsule/Orb/Item system of the past seems to have evolved into a candy shop selling assorted confections that can transform your character, allowing them to navigate the board in new ways. And, in case you were wondering, apparently the board play is controlled with the Wiimote in the sideways NES orientation.

Additionally, Treasure Trawling the Wiki article reveals that the new boards include: DK's Treetop Temple (most likely having a stationary Star space), Goomba's Booty Boardwalk (Akin to Koopa's Seaside Soiree from MP4 supposedly), Koopa's Tycoon Town (Allegedly an interpretation of classic Monopoly), Shy Guy's Perplex Express (Revolving around a train motif, I guess), King Boo's Haunted Hideaway (With a haunted house theme), and the unlockable Bowser's Warped Orbit (Possibly a Star-stealing board a la Snowflake Lake, the Snow Whirled from MP6). 65 new minigames in all and some not-so-mini games like Table Menace, a ping-pong diversion. Apparently, as seen in a one Freeze Frame, Miis may show up in the background of some of the minigames, too.

As long as Birdo's there, I'm in.

Later Skaters. Piece Out.

Bad Mother Snubbers

We all know Mother's Day is a day to make Mom feel special. Well, we did that for Jenova and The Boss, but there are a lot of moms in the gaming universe that we left out. So here's a quick rundown. (And massive apologies for those who didn't make it into this list, either...) >.>

Mother Brain (Metroid) Big Sis Prinny (Disgaea) Justice (Guilty Gear) Sindel (Mortal Kombat) Olga Gurlukovich (MGS2) Wrinkly Kong (Donkey Kong) Elmyra Gainsborough (FFVII) Edea Kramer (FFVIII) Q-Bee (Darkstalkers) Jun Kazama (Tekken) Nina Williams (Tekken)

Bossa Nova Monday: Big Boss

The Notorious

What better boss to boss around the other bosses of Bossa Nova then Big Boss? He is quite possibly the most successful villain in the history of video games, seeing as he went on to star in two games of his own. (And no, I don't acknowledge the Sephiroth Dating Sim, nor Sephiroth Kart Racing: Lifestream Grand Prix.) Hideo Kojima's Metal Gear series is full of double-crosses, but nothing tops the first one: Your commanding officer, the distinguished leader of FOXHOUND, is actually the mastermind of the terrorist nation you were sent to infiltrate. !o.O! (Oh yeah, spoiler warning.)

I could, of course, go on and on (and on) about Naked Snake, but this feature is about bosses, and Big Boss was only the last guy of Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake, even though his genetic progeny and military legacy influence much of the plot of Metal Gear Solid 1, 2, and 4. I chose to use art from the Metal Gear Solid era, however, because the original MSX/NES graphics purposely resemble Sean Connery, and that's just... weird.

Pseudonyms:	Naked Snake, Saladin, John Doe, Jack
Weapon:	Survival Knife; later Metal Gear
Signature Move:	Close Quarters Combat; later Pushing the Self-Destruct Button
Weaknesses:	Underestimates Solid Snake, lacks depth perception, flammability
Distinguishing Features:	Missing right eye (thanks a lot, Ocelot)
Difficulty:	6/10
Quote:	"Begin Operation: Intrude N313"
Similar Characters:	Albert Wesker (RE), Captain Blue (Viewtiful Joe)

Happy Mother's Day: Jenova

The one the Professor mistook for a Cetra . . . was named Jenova. That is the "calamity from the sky." We are all nothing more than Jenova's puppets.

Sephiroth says it best when he explains: "The Jenova Project wanted to produce people with the powers of the Ancients . . . no, the Cetra. . . . I am the one that was produced." An itinerant alien creature found sealed in a "2000 year old geological stratum," apparently dead: Jenova. A psychotic scientific experiment injects Jenova's cells into the unborn child Sephiroth. Is Jenova his mother? Sephiroth seems to think so, noting that "With her superior power, knowledge, and magic, Mother was destined to become the ruler of the Planet." But Sephiroth isn't alone. Without realizing it, the cast of Final Fantasy VII and many of the various people and creatures that they meet are being drawn to the Knowlespole (i.e., the Northern Crater), for Jenova's Reunion. Although they believe they are willfully hunting down Sephiroth, the truth is that the alien Jenova cells within Cloud---as well as those within the many black-cloaked figures they encounter---are being inexorably drawn toward Sephiroth's body---the largest concentration of Jenova cells---to reform the creature Jenova.

Throughout the game, whenever the player's party fights Sephiroth, Jenova appears to battle immediately afterward. Later on, as the plot unfolds, it becomes apparent that Sephiroth has been ensconced in the Lifestream, frozen deep within the Northern Crater, the whole time. What you've been fighting are pieces of Jenova under Sephiroth's control impersonating Sephiroth (as Sephiroth says, "The ability to change one's looks, voice, and words, is the power of Jenova"). The fascinating aspect of this Madonna-and-child dynamic is their reciprocal symbiosis: Jenova's cells exist and act from within her son and host, Sephiroth; meanwhile, Sephiroth---frozen and incapacitated beneath the Knowlespole---can only exert his influence in the world by controlling the Jenova cells in others. Although Sephiroth emerges as the primary antagonist of Final Fantasy VII, all of his actions are designed to promote Jenova's agenda: to effect the "Reunion" that will allow her cells to reform, and then to take back the planet in her name.

In the final event of Final Fantasy VII, the Sephiroth > Jenova pattern is reversed: As any mother would do (and, we realize toward the end of the game, as she has done all along), she comes between the player's party and her son, Sephiroth. Only when she has finally been defeated can you battle the real Sephiroth at last and end the game.

In Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, the characters Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz are introduced as children of Jenova, striving to complete the Jenova Reunion that was foiled during the events Final Fantasy VII. In Advent Children, the trio places a special emphasis upon Jenova as the "mother" of any creature that is infected with her cells (including all of the children experiencing the Geostigma illness). Kadaj and company, oddly enough, don't carry any Jenova cells within themselves, which is why they are so desparate to find the missing head of Jenova (remember that Sephiroth carried it off during the Nibelheim event in FFVII) so that they can infect themselves with her cells and join in the Reunion.

Happy Mother's Day: The Boss

For the Mother of Special Forces...

I raised you, and loved you, I've given you weapons, taught you techniques, endowed you with knowledge. There's nothing more for me to give you. All that's left for you to take is my life.

The Boss, the Joy, Voyevoda; Known by many names, she is one of the most maternal characters in gaming mythos. She can be considered the mother of two of Metal Gear's most central characters; She bore Ocelot on the battlefield via cessarian section (leaving an atrocious serpentine scar) at the Battle of Normandy, and also mentored and loved the most genetically perfect soldier ever born, and the man who would ultimately surpass her, Big Boss. One can infer that she was raising the son she never knew (or never knew she knew).

Look at this scar. This is proof that I was once a mother. I gave up my body and my child for my country. There is nothing left inside me now. Nothing at all. No hatred, not even regret. And yet sometimes at night I can still feel the pain creeping up inside me. Slithering through my body, like a snake.

Soldier, commander, astronaut, teacher, patriot. The part that seemed to anger her pupil Naked Snake the most was that no one would ever know that it was her mission to defect, a ploy to obtain the Philosopher's Legacy, the infathomably enormous war chest that the superpowers had hidden at the end of World War II. When Colonel Volgin used her offering, the mini-nuclear device Davey Crockett, plans changed. Snake was sent in again to rescue Sokolov, destroy the Shagohod, stop Volgin, eliminate the Cobra Unit, and kill The Boss.

And it was her mission to be killed, and to be remembered as a traitor to the country for which she sacrificed absolutely everything.

Jack... or should I say Snake... you're a wonderful man. Kill me now. There's only room for one snake and one boss.

The Liberal Application of the Word "Super"

Super Mario Brothers. Super Street Fighter. Super Metroid. Super Contra. Super Bomberman. Super Double Dragon. Super Robot Wars. Super Monkey Ball.

Super Rub-a-Dub?!

Killa didn't quite believe me when I told him that there was a "rubber-duck-based" game on PSN for download and that I had grabbed the demo. "No," he said, "You're confused. That's the PS3 tech demo; it's not a game."

"It's a game, yo!" I eloquently insisted. A little research turned up an interesting back story: At E3 in 2000, Sony used the "ducks demo" to display the awesome power of the PS2, specifically it's capacity for rendering water and the physics of the single rubber duck that interacted realistically with said water. In 2005, a new ducks demo was shown for the PS3 that featured, among other things, many rubber ducks in the tub to demonstrate the PS3's ability to handle the advanced physics of so many objects interacting. Apparently, someone realized that Sony was missing out on a golden money-making opportunity and subsequently turned the demo into a game (available on PSN for $6.99), and then produced a demo of the game (available for free on PSN).

The game makes use of the sixaxis's tilt function so that play requires no button-pressing at all. You start with a rubber duckie in a bathtub. Tilting the controller tilts the tub, causing the duck to move around. The goal is to (A) Collect smaller rubber ducks from around the tub (which then paddle along behind the main duck in a chain); and (B) get the baby duckies safely to the exit, without (I) jumping out of the tub; or (II) being eaten by deadly, deadly bathtub sharks. Bonus points are awarded for beating a goal time and for getting the longest string of ducklings to the goal at the same time (e.g., picking up ten ducklings and dropping them off at the exit will result in more points than picking up five, dropping them off, and then collecting the other five).

After your performance on a particular tub (level) is scored, the game will either praise you (e.g., "You Quacked It!") or chastize you (e.g., "Featherbrain!") based on your score. The demo includes five different tubs that can be played solo; the full version includes sixty tubs, supports up to four players, and features online leaderboards with viewable replays of the most skillful rub-a-dubbing. Killa and I played through the five demo tubs several times, learning new tricks and trying to beat our best scores. Here's a tip: "Popping" the tub (rapidly jerking the sixasis upward to make your duck "jump") can flip sharks onto their backs, rendering them temporarily harmless---but it can send your ducklings flying out of the tub, too, if you're not careful!

The controls are intuitive, the graphics are colorful and friendly, and the cute duckies have a broad appeal. I had some difficulty getting into the tilt controls of previous PSN darling flOw, but I had no such problems with Super Rub-a-Dub. This is the game that I'm going to have my non-gamer friends play when they come over to visit. I imagine that this cuddly bathtime adventure could bring a whole lot of hesitant would-be gamers over to the dark side.

Bossa Nova Monday: Yunalesca

Reaper of Souls

For 1,000 years, the summoners of Spira have traveled on a pilgrimage to Zanarkand to receive the final aeon, needed to defeat Sin. For 1,000 years---ever since defeating the first coming of Sin and dying in the process---the unsent spirit Yunalesca has waited in the ruined city of Zanarkand with a terrible revelation: There is no final aeon. In order to defeat Sin, not only must the summoner sacrifice his life by performing the final summoning, but he must also sacrifice one of his guardians to become the final aeon. After defeating Sin, the sacrificed guardian will then take its place, becoming the next Sin. Unwilling to make this terrible choice and perpetuate the cycle of destruction, Yuna and her guardians instead undertake to battle Yunalesca and send her to the Farplane for good.

Yunalesca is a classic multi-form boss; each time you defeat her she comes back in a scarier, stronger form (until you defeat her third and final form; then she's really done). Her second form spams curative magic on your party, which would be nice except that she's turned your characters into undead zombies with her Hellbiter attack, so the Cures hurt rather than heal, and the occasional "Full Life" spell can mean instant death. But don't break out the holy water just yet---her Mega Death special casts instant death, killing the entire party . . . unless they happen to be zombies, in which case the attack is harmless (death spells, instant death attacks, and items are traditionally ineffective against the undead).

Weapon:	Absorb (1st form); Curative Magic (2nd & 3rd forms)
Signature Moves:	Mega Death; Mind Blast
Weakness:	Holy Magic
Distinguishing Features:	Her sexy bikini body is hiding a terrible tentacular monster!
Difficulty:	7/10
Death Quote:	"Ah . . . Zaon . . . Forgive me. . . . Spira has been robbed of the light of hope. . . . All that remains is sorrow."
Similar Characters:	Jenova (FFVII), Medusa (Kid Icarus)

Nu Gamma Sigma

Not just an honors society anymore.

At long last, I downloaded the demo of Ninja Gaiden Σ.

Before saying anything else, I want to make a few comments on my downloading experience. Before grabbing the demo I had to update my PS3 with the latest firmware (1.70, I think), which then allowed my PS3 to download things in the background while I do other things with it. This is great because Killa was over for the evening to play some FFXII, and we would have had to stop the download when it became apparent that it was going to take forever. So we have background downloading going on. The download made it to 10 percent in approximately 30 or 45 minutes while I was waiting for Killa to arrive. We then played Tekken DR for another 45 minutes or so while the demo was downloading in the background. I must stress that Tekken has no online component that I'm aware of. During the 45 minutes we were playing Tekken, the download only crept up to 12 percent. Strange. We then spent an hour or two collecting my husband from the subway station and then eating some dinner. The download progressed to 45 percent during that time. Then we played FFXII for the next 4 hours (download still going in the background). At the end of those 4 hours, we shut down FFXII and the NGΣ demo was at 58 percent. What the hell?

If I was going to have to download it overnight anyway, then I have reaped no benefit whatsoever from the background downloading function. I hope they shore it up in the future so that it doesn't require the PS3's undivided attention to, you know, function.

Anyway, the 983 MB download is finally complete and I had a chance to play through the demo yesterday. I was pleased with how responsive the controls are. Ryu handles like the Prince (of Persia, that is), although Rachel, once you get her unlocked, handles more like a Mack truck. Mission mode (featuring Rachel) and hard mode were both unlocked by beating the demo once, which took me a couple of tries. The demo includes a robust set of weapons for Ryu (the quintessential dragon sword; nunchaku; a larger, heavier sword; a staff; and dual-wielded katanas) that you can use from the start to vary the gameplay. I am particularly enamored with the Lunar, a large bo staff useful for mowing down multiple enemies at a time. The entire first chapter seems to have been included and took me approximately 20 minutes to run through on my winning attempt.

The graphics are rich, detailed, and beautiful, especially the backgrounds. Ryu and his many foes are generally moving too fast for me to get a good look at them. The action was very smooth and I found it pretty easy to string moves together to make impressive combos, although I can already see that this game relies more on precise combo input than, say, God of War, in which any combination of button presses will yield the requisite carnage. I'm a little concerned that my skills are going to need a lot of polish before I can expect to succeed at the final version of the game. Apparently there's a tank battle that emasculates all comers. We'll see. This demo is a great move by Tecmo; I was a little ambivalent about Ninja Gaiden Sigma before I played through the demo, but now I'm sure I'm going to buy it at my earliest convenience.

Finally, I'd like to express my feelings of distaste for the numbering system of this series. Ninja Gaiden 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on, would be acceptable. Alternatively, how about Ninja Gaiden I, II, III; or A, B, C; etc. But the series goes: Ninja Gaiden 1; Ninja Gaiden 2; Ninja Gaiden 3; Ninja Gaiden; Ninja Gaiden: Black; Ninja Gaiden Σ. Listen: "1, 2, 3, Black, Σ" is not a sequence! Here are my suggestions for the next next gen: Ninja Gaiden: Gaiden of the Ninja for the DSMicro; Ninja Gaiden ₤ for the PS4; and Ninja Gaiden: Plaid for the XBox 720.

Rumor Mongering

Ever since I began writing this blog, I've managed to stay pretty up-to-date on industry news and trends by keeping abreast of the major sources of news and rumors (e.g., Penny Arcade, Kotaku, Joystiq). I know that prior to this great undertaking, I didn't have the knowledge base that I do now. If, a year ago, someone had told me something along the lines of, for example, "The next God of War game is going to come out for the XBox," I may not have seen the obvious flaws in that equation; most notably, that Sony owns the God of War IP and therefore no God of War game will be released on a Microsoft console as long as Sony is still in the business of making consoles for itself. These are the sorts of distinctions that might not be made by a layperson who doesn't spend all of their time combing gaming-related web sites and their affiliated message boards. Suffice it to say, that type of rumor will never prove to be true; it stems from misunderstanding and is primarily harmless.

Another kind of rumor, more devious, is that created or perpetuated by those with a good working knowledge of the industry and its idiosyncrasies. A good example of this would be, for instance, "Final Fantasy XIII is going to come out for the XBox 360." Since FF is developed and published by a third party company, it's entirely possible that it could come out for multiple platforms. In this iteration of the series I think it's unlikely to happen for other reasons, but it isn't a logical impossibility based on property ownership and rights management. These rumors are harder to discern, and they sometimes end up being (or becoming) true. For example, there were rumors that DMC4 would be multiplatform, and lo, so it has become.

Then there are the rumors that don't make any sense at all. I was at a baby shower (of all places) on Sunday and found myself engaged in conversation with a gentleman on the subject of the 360, Wii, and PS3. When I mentioned to him that I own a PS3, he urged me to sell it on eBay or otherwise try to recoup some of the money I spent on it. He explained to me that Sony has stopped production on the PS3 and is discontinuing the system, and, moreover, that only five games are going to be produced for the system before Sony stops supporting it entirely. Unsure of how to respond to so much incorrect information coming in at once, I simply observed: "That information is incorrect." He shrugged his shoulders and responded, "You'll see. Don't say nobody warned you six months from now when your PS3 is completely obsolete." Ouch!

Fortunately, no one will have to miss out on God of War III, because I hear it's coming out for the XBox 360.

Bossa Nova Monday: I-No

Bewitched

For our second installment of Bossa Nova Mondays, we have a much more credible entry, the notorious I-No from Guilty Gear XX: The Midnight Carnival. She is the servant of That Man, the mostly unseen antagonist of the series. Though all of her actions in GGXX are meant to protect That Man, it is without his consent, and he tries to repair the damage she has done in most of the story sequences in which he appears. Her design is based largely on Japanese musician Ringo Shiina, and, like most Guilty Gear characters, her name is a musical reference, in this case to ambient pioneer Brian Eno.

She appears as the boss of GGXX in a somewhat more powerful incarnation than the selectable I-No. She is the bane of many newbies, as she is the first CPU opponent to possess decent AI, and she is undoubtedly the best character in the air, making the obvious jump-in attack a suicidal plunge. Once n00bz learn that this encounter is an (I-)No Fly Zone, they can begin to really learn the game's intricacies.

Weapon:	Duesenberg Starplayer TV guitar
Signature Moves:	Fortissimo, Megalomania
Weakness:	A solid ground game
Distinguishing Features:	Animated witch hat; mole on left cheek
Difficulty:	8.5/10
Win Quote:	After defeating Dizzy, "Those are some nice wings. If I plucked and fried them, would they taste like chicken?"
Similar Characters:	Nevan (DMC3), Lord Raptor (Darkstalkers), Ultimecia (FFVIII), Twinrova (LoZ:OoT)

Region of Gloom

Yes, the PS3 is a tempting piece of hardware, I'll give it that. I very much would like to go buy one, and pick up F.E.A.R., and then Heavenly Sword (whenever the hell that drops). Then come this Winter, I foresee marathon sessions of MGS4 Online isolating me from my typical human interaction. It could also play all the PS2 games that Keif's renegade unit won't play. I could even pick up Planet Earth on Blu Ray.

But I still won't be able to play the new Guilty Gear XX Accent Core on it.

The PS3 may not be subject to the last-gen drudgery of region encoding for its current media, but archaic PS2 DVD-Roms are still enslaved by the outmoded regulations of those technocrats who can't face the terrifying future of imminent glocalization. It seems the true complement to the Playstaion 3 may be the modded Playstation 2. With a little overseas transaction, a dash of Swap Magic, and the equitable procurement of Catarina's dusty PS2, I could make Force Breaking with Order Sol a reality.

But wait, the plot thickens. When a posting for Accent Core for Wii (!) first surfaced, speculation flared, but nothing reassuring could be trawled up from the depths of the inter-Zeinest. That is to say until this late-breaking blurb from a usually reliable source. Is this for real for real? Will it use the Classic Controller? How could it possibly not? Accent Core, really? So many questions, but why dizzy myself with this swarm of guesses? What are the odds of the Wii version even being localized, when the last two PS2 entries were not? Who am I kidding?

Likewise, I don't even have a Wii, only the generous use of Legoman's. In all likelihood, I may go ahead with my [Import + Modding = Crazy Propitious] plan at the end of May, and hope that a timely North American release of Accent Core doesn't come down the retail warp tube any time soon, much as Catarina fears a PSP redesign hot on the heels of her sprint shoes impending purchase.

On the plus side, having the Japanese version would be hardcore 1337 to the limit extreme. The next logical step I suppose would then be to summon all my translation bravery for an attempt at Namco x Capcom, the JPN-onry SRPG crossover I've coveted for the longest time. It just seems a shame that the upcoming game in which I am most vested, once again, is for the cheapest, oldest, and weakest console on the market.

Enough Is Never Enough

Ever since I got my PS3 in January, my PS2 has been collecting dust back behind the TV. (In all honesty, the PS3 is collecting dust too, because I don't dust as frequently as I should, but the PS3 is at least in use.) However, I primarily use the PS3 to play PS2 games and Blu-Ray movies. Not so much with the PS3 games just yet.

I guess I "officially" moved into the next gen when I picked up my Wii on November 19. The previous month I had purchased Okami (late) and Final Fantasy XII (at a midnight launch event). I figured these would be the swan song of the PS2 for me. I still have a PS2 backlog to work through, but my main focus was going to be on the exciting new world of HD graphics and motion controls.

Then I started to hear good things about Rogue Galaxy so I picked that up as well. One more RPG on the pile isn't going to make a difference anyway. When God of War II came out and topped the sales charts, I finally picked up the original God of War and played through some of it to get a feel for the title, seeing as it's one of the best-loved games of the previous gen. I haven't played God of War II yet, but I probably will eventually. I have also heard glad tidings that SquareEnix's Dawn of Mana (Seiken Densetsu 4) is coming to the PS2 in late May.

And now, skulking around Penny Arcade and its associated forums has turned up information about Odin Sphere, a sidescrolling, 2-D action RPG, and gRimgRiMoiRe (i.e., Grim Grimoire), a NIS real-time strategy game, both forthcoming for the PS2. Odin Sphere got a glowing review from Tycho that has helped push me into its party. It's not the sort of thing I'd be attracted to at a glance, but the more I look at it, the more I want to play it. It kind of reminds me of Altered Beast with the sidescrolling, power-upping game mechanics and 2-D sprites, although probably with fewer wise fwom your gwave hijinks. gRimgRiMoiRe, although its inexplicable internal caps pierce my heart like so many deadly, deadly lawn darts, is sure to be a big hit in my household, some members of which still wake up in a cold sweat in the dead of night, all these long years later, from nightmares of Prinny Baal to which they can not give voice.

I guess this should not surprise me. Seeing as the DreamCast had a new game come out this year, and this morning Kotaku even covered a new Super Famicon game, the PSDouble is a long way from defunct. I've also been fleshing out my GameCube holdings recently, as I now have a machiine capable of playing them. As excited as I am about the new generation of gaming (even about the Wii, with as much buzz as it's been getting), it seems like some of the juiciest new offerings around are still for ye grande ole system.

Ode on a console:

Tho' in power deficit,

Hark! She rumbles yet.